The Worst Eyebrows OF ALL TIME
CULTURE | LIFESTYLE
~ BY MONICA HUNT
It happens to everyone at some point in their lives: You test out a new salon to get your eyebrows waxed/threaded/groomed and the service is so bad, you walk out looking like you drew your eyebrows on with a sharpie marker. Fortunately, these accidents only happen on occasion and only because you learn your lesson like smart people do. However, there are some among (and some in the celebrity strata as well) who never learn their lesson about bad eyebrow maintenance, or ideas about what constitutes a good set of brows.
Our first offender is this person:
I don’t know where to start, honestly. The facial expression says, “I’m cool with this look, see how I pose?” But the eyes are screaming help — because there is some serious sketch business going on in the eyebrow department. Are those eyebrows real? Are they painted on? Are they painted to look hairy? Are they going to stab my eye out? The eyes don’t know, thus they’re whimpering with fright (and so am I).
(Aside: I really hope this isn’t an image of a cancer patient.)
From bushy we move on to the opposite side of the brow spectrum — ultra thin:
…and linear? Anime? I don’t think anyone could figure out why this woman mutilated her eyebrows in order to transform herself into a Japanese cartoon character. How could anyone look at this woman seriously without laughing or wondering where her neighbor Totoro may be — in all likelihood, hiding from her.
Next, we have this specimen of humanity:
She clearly has some unresolved issues stemming from her failed attempt at creating a thriving beauty blog, but this is no excuse! You can’t get a job with poorly drawn flower eyebrows! You couldn’t even join an exclusive circle of bohemian hipsters with this nonsense scribbled on your face. Someone in this girls life should intervene, because this type of creativity is harmful to one’s health.
Homegirl above is clearly not joking about how to display her eyebrows to the world, but this woman may or may not be joking about what she’s done to herself:
She seems to be smirking about her masterpiece’s irony and is in the process of posting the image on Reddit, but then again she does have a prison tit tat and a Marilyn piercing that would indicate that the eyebrows come with the alternative (I say trashy) territory. Either way, someone should point out the eyebrows make her look cross-eyed. If she merely erased an inch of sharpie on each side, she’d look like a normal person! Willful stupidity.
Finally, we have the biggest culprit of all, this queen of disastrous eyebrows:
That’s an ellipsis eyebrow, ya’ll. Either this woman’s face isn’t finishing a sentence she started or is indicating it has an unfinished thought. Or maybe she is a literature major…you never know. However, judging from the forlorn expression, it is likely this woman was picked up by the cops and this exquisite portrait is indeed a mugshot.