Why Valentine’s Day is the Worst Day Ever
LIFESTYLE + CULTURE
~ BY MONICA HUNT
Ugh. It’s that time of the year again.For those of you living under a rock, Valentine’s Day is swiftly approaching, peering out at you from mall storefronts, the candy aisle at CVS, and your very own lonely heart. Aside from the obvious reasons why Valentine’s day is a single person’s nightmare, there are even more reasons to hate this awesome pagan holiday.
First, everyone else who is single takes it upon themselves to schedule some kind of single get-together where you go out as a group, dressed in some embarrassing clothing identifier like grown-up footed pajamas. Since you’re single, and your friends are single, you are expected to be as codependent as everyone else on the 14th. By not going to the “Single Awareness Pub Crawl of 2013 OMGZ,” you risk feeling like a real loser when the Facebook mobile uploads start rolling in and you’re working on your second grilled cheese sandwich for the evening.
Invariably, going out to bars on Valentine’s Day means you’re going to get really, really drunk. Not only will you have a killer hangover before clocking in at work on the 15th, you’ll either do one of two things: Sleep with a stranger or sleep with a friend, thus creating a really awkward Friday morning. Did we mention you also have to be at work the next day?
The worst part about Valentine’s Day is that it isn’t even fun at this point in our adult lives. Even for people who do have someone to share the holiday with, the expectation of wining, dining, and buying crap in order to express your love for another human being is nothing like the excitement you felt getting a paper bag full of Valentine’s and candy from your classmates.