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Top 5 Ways To Know You’re Too Old for a Nightclub

Editor December 26, 2012 NIGHTLIFE No Comments

Top 5 Ways To Know You’re Too Old for a Nightclub


club old Top 5 Ways To Know Youre Too Old for a Nightclub

Back when you were a fresh faced 19 year old sporting your fake ID to sneak into a nightclub, everything was amazing and you felt on top of the world. Then you turned the legal 21 and a small piece of you died inside because it was no longer “against the rules” for you to party. But you didn’t let that stop you from having a good time out. Fast-forward say ten years later. You’re approaching that too old for the club look and it shows.

Now, it is true that in cities like LA, NYC, and Miami it is perfectly acceptable to enjoy the nightlife into your mid-30’s if you are a guy and late 20’s and maybe early 30’s (it’s a stretch) for the girls.

Don’t be that guy (or girl). Here’s our 5 Signs That You Are Too Old for a Nightclub…



1.) You Bring Earplugs

You know you’re too damn old to be in a club if you can’t handle the music. If all you do is whine and complain that it’s too loud and you actually bring with you earplugs into a party, then you now know it is time to stop going out. You’re too old. (*the only exception to this is those nightlife professionals who are around loud speakers 5 nights a week and wish to maintain some semblance of hearing later in life. For you, we understand)


2.) Someone Asks You How Old You Are

Great, so that cute girl just bumped into you and seemed to be smiling at you. If she asks you how old you are, just leave the club right then and there. Just because she has daddy issues doesn’t mean you should hit on someone who you could be a dad to.


3.) You Start Yawning at 11pm

Actually, if you even try to go to a club before 11pm then just stop. No one goes out before 11pm and you’ve probably got bigger responsibilities to take care of it’s feeling past your bedtime at this early hour.


4.) You Think DeadMau5 is a Dead Animal

It may be a sign that you’re too old for a nightclub if you don’t have a clue who one of the biggest DJ’s in the world is right now. Yeah, the guy made $12 million bucks last year for turning some knobs. But man do the kids like his music.


5.) You Ask If There is Food

Please just slap yourself. There are a ton of great restaurants in every major city. Go there. If you go to a club and immediately ask if there’s food, you’ve got bigger problems.





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