The 7 Types Of People You Meet On BBM
– By Craig Clemens
While Facebook and Twitter updates can be fun, most will agree that there is no update as RAW… as unadulterated… and as uncensored…
… as the BBM STATUS UPDATE.
Perhaps it’s because it’s so easy to access during those crucial life moments… the ones that just SCREAM…
“My friends need to know what I’m doing RIGHTEFFINGNOW!!!”
After all, when you are doing things as important as ” Gym then work 8 hour shift ugh :/ ” or ” RUNNING VEGAS TONIGHT!! “, you can’t always be bothered to log in to Facebook.
And let’s face it… Twitter is kinda gay.
But BBM? BBM is right there at your fingertips… when you are at your best, and at your worst.
With this in mind, there are 7 types of people you will meet in the wonderful world of BBM. And just as some dude thought it was important to know the 5 types of people you’re going to meet in Heaven, I feel it’s important to know your BBM friends too.
Here they are:
1. The Coked-Out Promoter
Clues: Usually male, usually BBMs in purple. Updates and BBMs read very similar.
“HOT HOT HOT tonight!”
“The KRESS is Hot tonight!”
“I’m HOT If you’re HOT Ill see YOU tonight!!”
“Omg so HOT don’t even ask me why the list its CLOSED TONIGHT!!”
“Who wants a table TONIGHT!!”
“Come drink at my table! Tonight!!!!”
2. The Emo-polar
Clues: Usually female.
Is often “Doing me”
Decides she is “Not taking shit from anyone EVER AGAIN!” at least once daily
Proclaims that it’s “Nice to finally meet a real man” at least once daily
Decides “EFF YOU AND EFF EVERYONE!!” at least once daily
Is “Chillaxing by the pool <3″ at least once daily
Proclaims that “ALL GUYS ARE EFFING ASSHOLES” at least once daily
3. The Groundhog Re-Updater
Clues: Totally SILENT on the BBM update front until finding themselves somewhere they deem to be cool. You might have even forgotten they were on your contact list! Once arriving at “cool” party or destination, not only updates… but makes tiny update changes every 5-7 minutes to ensure their status rises to the top of the feed for all to see.
“St. Tropez, France”
“South of France”
“St. Trop’in it!”
“Boating around St. Trop (France)”
“St Trop >> LA”
“Missing St Tropez already!!”
“Nice to be back with my friends, St Trop pics coming soon!”
“Wish I was still in St Tropez”
“Already thinking about next year’s St. Tropez trip!”
4. The Share-bot
Clues: Has a robot chip implanted in their brain that forces them to share every detail of their life in one word descriptions. Sample Updates:
5. The Jobless Scenester
Clues: Similar to the Re-Updater, yet updates flow constantly. Plans social schedule around best update locations. Will not go somewhere unless update worthy.
A day in the life of the Jobless Scenester
“Mastros/Paul & Andre”
“Paul & Andre/Hemingways”
“Paul & Andre/Hemingways/who knows”
6. The Famous Extra
Often “on set”
Usually found “Shooting all day”
Gets stressed out by “6am call time ugh”
Once weekly is on “Set of entourage!”
Gets “tired from shooting all day”
Sometimes goes to the “Gym.”
7. The Girl Power
Clues: Loves her girls. Loves her loves. Knows how to make 17 different types of heart emoticons.
“Mani/pedi with my girls! <3″
“Girls night! Wine and movies <3″
“<3 Dinner with my girls!”
“Private jet to France… love girl’s trips! <3″
“<3 love my lovesss <3″
“Outtt with the girls <3″
“Switching to iphone!”
(That last heart was from me.)
Check out more of Craig Clemens on Twitter HERE