The 7 People You Meet In A Nightclub
LIFESTYLE | NIGHTLIFE
1.) The YOLO Enthusiast
If you haven’t every heard this annoying phrase YOLO, you must be living under a rock. This person will be justifying whatever ridiculous behavior they want to engage in with the word YOLO, or “you only live once.” They decide to push in front of everyone else at the bathroom…YOLO. They get encouraged to chug an entire bottle of cheap Russian vodka…YOLO. Some stranger offers them a mysterious pill…YOLO.
Avoid this person at all costs.
2.) The Bottle Rat
This person is typically easy to spot. They’ll walk into a club and immediately begin scouting which table to join. Sometimes they know the people there. Sometimes they don’t. They’re usually pretty girls who will come up and feign friendship to get a free drink poured. You’ll spot them when the bottle goes empty. The real friends will hang around and the bottle rats will have suddenly disappeared.
3.) The Promoter
The promoter comes in a variety of flavors. You’ve got your full-time promoters who make party throwing a career. You’ve got your part-timers who have other careers but want to utilize their networks to make some extra side money. And then you have your people who just LOVE to party and will be at the club regardless of whether they’re getting paid or not.
A promoter can be your best friend for skipping the line to get into the club and, for the girls, even free drinks from their table. But also be wary, some of them are nice guys but as you’d expect, some can be the douchiest of douche’s. You could end up on mass text and email lists that spam your account daily with invitations to the “bestest hottest VIP red carpet celebrity filled amazing party ever.” Vomit.
4.) The Table Buyer
The table buyers are of two types. The first are your occasional nightclub attendees who are going out for a birthday party, bachelor night, or they just have guests in town. These guys might all throw in for the bill as a group at the end of the night. Typically average people looking for a fun night out.
The second type of table buyer is the uber-wealthy guy. There are your World Series of Poker winners, tech nerds from Silicon Valley fresh off an IPO, and they there are the one’s with family money. The family money/trust fund guys are guys go out regularly and are used to living a lavish lifestyle. Dropping 10k on a table in one night is the equivalent to a burger and fries for the rest of us ordinary people. These guys pursue hedonism to the extreme. If you’re in with these guys, there’s a good chance they’ll take you along for the ride. But beware, unless there’s an established understanding, you might get asked to get the bill yourself one of these nights and then there goes your rent money. And your life savings.
5.) The Photographer
This person comes in two different forms. The first is the legitimate, hired photographer. You’ll spot them by the professional digital camera that they are carrying around. If you’re a good looking, fun crew, they’ll probably ask you to pose for a picture. Be cool and you could end up with some great high quality shots, usually found the next day on the club’s Facebook page.
The other “photographer” shouldn’t really even be called one. This person is just annoyingly snapping pictures with their smart phone of anything and everything. The drunker they get, the worse they are. Stay clear of this person who clearly cares more about documenting how great the event is rather than actually enjoying the event itself!
6.) The Girl Who Can Barely Stand
This girl may be just turning 21, recently broke up with a boyfriend, or simply pre-gamed a little too hard. Whatever the cause, she is drinking like it’s the end of the world and finds herself unable to walk in a straight line.
You can spot her easily as she continuously bumps into people and spills her drink everywhere. Hopefully she has some good friends holding her up and an even better friend who will take her home. She is the ultimate sloppy mess.
7.) The Couple
The established couple is not the problem. It’s the new couple. They’re 2 months into a whirlwind romance and can’t keep their hands off each other. It’s not that they’re bad people, it’s just that they should realize that everyone is watching them not because they’re cute, but because they’re acting the fool. Keep your horny teenager hormones on the DL until you’re behind closed doors. The rest of us thank you.