VIP Table Manner Rules for the Girls
NIGHTLIFE | LIFESTYLE
BY ERIN BECK
…the least you can do is be a proper guest worthy of his daddy’s hard-earned paycheck.
You don’t want to risk losing whatever self-respect you have left after putting on that bite-sized dress tonight, you don’t want to be known as the resident bitch, and most importantly, you don’t want to end up on the Dirty. If the guy in front of you wanted to hang out with a hot mess that wasn’t going to put out regardless of how much money he put down, he’d be at an adult establishment. Instead, he chose to spend his entire allowance on you, and the least you can do is be a proper guest worthy of his daddy’s hard-earned paycheck.
So, read the below guidelines, and learn how to be a Catherine, not a Lindsey.
1. This is not Soup Plantation, and it’s definitely not Pinkberry.
Hollywood nightclubs are the farthest thing from all-you-can-eat, and they certainly aren’t self-serve. He offered you A drink, not four. Furthermore, A drink has 1.5 oz of liquor, not as-much-as-you-can-pour-before-he-turns-around-and-sees-you. Greedy is not sexy, and even if you think no one noticed you hijacking half the bottle of Goose, they will certainly notice when you are the one passed out and barefoot in the corner come 2am.
2. Do not go barefoot.
I’m sorry you refuse to hold a real job, and so the only heels you can afford are from the stripper stores on Hollywood Blvd. However, discomfort is no excuse to be unstrapping your stilettos before you make it inside your own front door. Glass is dangerous when under bare feet, but more importantly, everyone will see the label inside your Destiny’s Angel heels if you take them off in public. Do not take them off in public.
3. There’s no such thing as a free lunch.
So what if he’s a prince and can afford it– he’s still reaching into his pockets tonight so that you and your broke girlfriend can still have a good time. Say thank you, and at least attempt to be worthy of the $400 he just dropped on your ass.
4. Don’t hit it and quit it.
Just like you don’t like a boy who leaves you with a one-night stand, bottle-buyers will not be joining your fan club if you drink and duck out when they aren’t looking. You don’t like waking up to an empty bed in the morning, and he hates turning around to find an empty bottle with no girls left. So, even if you’re not interested, throw the guy a mercy cuddle. It will go a long way to preventing you from getting blackballed by the table gods.
5. Acting fun > Acting cool.
If you have to resort to ACTING cool, then you are, by default, inherently NOT cool. Luckily for you, acting FUN has the wonderful property of actually making you FUN. So, choose heels you can dance in over shoes you can’t walk in, and pick a dress that won’t ride up if you move more than 6 inches. Remember that smiles are sexy, and hair whips give you better volume than a $65 blowout. And seriously, put the camera away. If the club photog hasn’t paparazzi’d you yet, then you obviously aren’t having enough fun. Get to work.
### Follow our contributing writer Erin Beck on Twitter @SrryFrPrtyRckng