The Surprising Truth About Hipsters
By Guest Contributor David Wygant
LIFESTYLE & CULTURE
For those of you who do not live in L.A….
…you may or may not think this is funny.
But you must read on.
There’s a restaurant in the Venice area of Los Angeles called Gjelina(pronounced jell-e-nah) and it’s very hip.
You know, one of those places you go where there’s lots of open space and everybody is talking.
It’s all ra-ra-ra-ra-ra when you walk in because there are so many conversations bouncing off the walls.
As fun as it is, the social scene is not what people like most about the restaurant.
See, Gjelina may be the most hipster restaurant in all of Venice, California.
All the hipsters go there.
So we’re talking about all the guys who have handle bar mustaches. (I have no idea when that ever came back into style, but it seems to be the current rage in Venice.) They’ve got the hair parted in the middle, slicked down on both sides, looking almost like a bad version of Pee-Wee Herman. Or they’ve got the big, coifed hair that goes way up in the air.
They’re wearing suspenders.
Everybody’s got a pair of Red Wing boots that look like they were either: a. bought vintage from eBay; or b. worn for three weeks in the middle of a forest.
They’ve got the jeans cuffed up, but not cuffed up the cool way like James Dean did it, but cuffed way up their calves so you can see the entire boot.
Then they’ve got some type of flannel shirt, but it’s not the old style flannel shirts, it’s the new flannel shirt, almost like they found it at the vintage shop but then got it altered and tailored to fit absolutely perfect for them.
They have beards, a lot of them. Ever since that guy Zach from The Hangover wore a beard, all the dirty hipsters decided to wear these big, full-on beards.
But the funny thing about it is that they all gather at this overpriced restaurant for an overpriced breakfast, and most of them don’t even have money. It’s almost like they just save their money just to be seen at an overpriced restaurant where all the other hipsters hang out.
But here’s the deal, some of these hipsters are actually reproducing. And when hipsters reproduce, their kids have names like Story and Seven and Montana and Denver and Mobile.
They don’t do “normal” names anymore. It’s all just weird names or numbers or things or places.
I met a kid the other day. His name was Suspa.
What is a Suspa? The women looked at me and said “it’s a feeling I once had.”
She actually said that.
You’ve got to say that this hipster generation is one of the weirdest generations ever. Not only are they super trendy, but they all just pose.
If you ever go to Gjelina—where these photos were taken, by the way—you’ll see how they hang out.
Are you a hipster?
### David Wygant is an Author and Lifestyle/Dating Coach. Check out his daily blog and free newsletter at the link below