How To Drink All Night and Still Work Hard All The Next Day
BARS & NIGHTLIFE
~ BY MONICA HUNT
It is a tricky balance, getting hammered and then trying to show up to the office as if you spent the prior evening watching tv with your cat. Especially since the truth is that you spent the previous night liquored up like vagrant…
We’ve all done it, and honestly, you aren’t a real adult until you are able to drink all night and then wake up early to get into the office on time the next day.
It is a tricky balance, though, getting hammered and then trying to show up to the office as if you spent the prior evening watching reruns of Downton Abbey with your cat. Especially since the truth is that you spent the previous night liquored up like vagrant. Seriously, if your co-workers or boss knew what you were actually doing on a Tuesday night in Los Angeles, they’d be appalled. That’s why it is important to keep a few things in mind if you a) want to keep your job and b) continue your partying ways while keeping said job.
The first thing to remember if you’re going on a weekday bender is to always hydrate. Being hung over and being dehydrated have virtually the same symptoms, so remember to temper your shots of booze with a glass of water or else you’ll be using up your sick time for alcohol-induced sickness. If you can, put a glass of water and a B-complex vitamin next your bed as a reminder to refuel before you pass the f*ck out.
Second, don’t forget to shower. Ever! Your body, hair, and breath the morning after a night of alcohol fuelled fun can smell like a stale bar and your own sweat, so don’t neglect to shower — even if it means skipping a bath will add on a few extra minutes of sleeping in. A hot shower may also help you metabolize alcohol faster, if you happen to wake up a teensy bit drunk. Seriously though, bad hygiene most definitely give you away — particularly when you have to speak to a another human being and they can smell that final shot of Patron you took down like nothing just a few hours ago. (This goes without saying, but brush and floss your teeth too).
For breakfast, eat a slab of burnt toast with honey and butter. The burned bits of the bread help to absorb excess alcohol, while the sugar in the honey acts as a burst of energy once metabolized. All in all, an upset stomach will be quelled until lunchtime, when some invariably decided to reheat leftover fish.
You’re going to need caffeine — and a healthy dose of it. Don’t be a p*ssy and opt for the Jasmine Morning Tea reserved for brunch with girlfriends or your lady friend. Get a serious dose at your local coffee shop in the form of double or triple espressos to get you through the workday. Be careful to not further dehydrate yourself and drink your coffee with water or coconut water (gotta love those electrolytes).
Finally, just get through the day. Yes, you are tired, you feel like puking, and the morning commute on the 101 is killing you slowly inside, but you’re an adult and you have to show up for work. Act as if nothing is wrong, appear to be clean and tidy, and get all your tasks done like a damn boss and no one will know any differently. Once you’re home, you can nap and then get ready to go out and do it all over again. It’ll be your reward for working so hard all day long and only throwing up in the bathroom once.